We run a very democratic household and when there is a dispute as to the direction of our tiny realm we have a fair and open election. I get to cast my one vote and MB casts her 99. Once the votes are tallied we know the decision by the people.
As with many elections the pre-vote debate was fierce and my faction - "The Mess Makers" seemed to be winning the day but then we were hit by a scandal that our superior policy arguments could not overcome. Now this is kind of a funny story. We've got a small freezer in the unheated garage where MB stores overflow items. The garage isn't really wired to be a workshop so sometimes I need to unplug the freezer to avoid blowing a circuit. I only do this during the winter months when it's really cold (one of the few times an unheated garage comes in handy). Well, heh-heh, I unplugged the freezer and seemed to have forgotten to plug it back in. The fact that this event happened in December and was only discovered yesterday did not help my case.
My political aides suggested counter arguments built around the theme that the fault is really with my wife as she never checked on the freezer all these months. We organized a series of toady-like talking heads to make the rounds of the Sunday news shows. Sadly, their cogent arguments could not overcome the raw video images of the biological freak fest going on inside our once innocent freezer. The election was lost and the winning party has enacted her draconian laws of cleanliness.
So today, I don my bio hazard suit and commence operation clean up. I do this with not a little trepidation as the mass that has formed inside the freezer seems to have developed self awareness and is likely to put up a stiff resistance.
Been there, done that, filled up the trash bags. We have much the same electoral college at our house.
ReplyDeleteI figure as long as I don’t up in the freezer, then it’s all good.
I was more than a little concerned that executive management wasn't considering cold storage for me also.
ReplyDeleteIt does sound as though that suitcase I suggested for Salute loot may end up being filled with luxuries for SWMBO instead when you visit London in a few weeks time.
ReplyDeleteOops...
ReplyDeleteI showed this post to my wife. You had her in stitches and said it had a familiar ring to it. She also suggested hauling freezer and contents to the dump and getting a new one.
ReplyDeleteGot that t shirt. Leave it for a few more months and it will leave of its own accord - probably to seek asylum from the chemical warfare perpetrated by the locals
ReplyDeleteThe Freezer is on its way to the dump but I do always take the doors off these things to prevent a child of animal getting caught inside them, so there's was no avoiding cleaning the damn thing out. That job was completed yesterday - thank goodness it warmed up a bit here in Maryland so it was done outside and I burned the remaining contents. Fire, good.
ReplyDeleteYou imply in your last sentence that your creation is sentient. to kill it would be a crime of unimaginable proportions. Not only have you created life but given it the power coherent thought. If you give it a name you're pretty much scott free.
ReplyDeleteQ. "So have you done it?"
A. "No! How could I? I can't kill Kevin. He's like a son to me!"
When the contents of the freezer develop language skills you know you're in trouble.
ReplyDeleteI believe the only way to prevent this in the future is to start doing your hobby in the kitchen. It's unfair and a bit racist that you've been forced to work out in the garage all this time.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
I think you sound like a lucky man. Where I am, "Executive Management" uses the Pol Pot Playbook for making her decisions. She is currently talking about a merger where get shared premises where she moves her stuff in and I move my stuff into landfill.
ReplyDeleteAs for the freezer, food is only supposed to be kept in there for a finite amount of time. I would guess as it has not been opened in three months a lot of it had probably gone off anyway. If it was in demand that much it was probably not worth eating anyway.
As for the contents of the freezer you might suggest to management that it has developed its own form of intelligence and has demanded unilateral independence. It might work.
Seriously though, if you are going to empty it so it the night before you rubbish is collected.
I would sack those talking heads...
ReplyDelete