Monday, September 3, 2012
Frog Rescue: Operation Successful!
I've always been a benefactor of our amphibious friends given their ravenous appetite for bugs so I had no choice but to spring into action. I should point out that the impending frogicide must have made my blood boil because the water around me became a lot warmer upon seeing the aggressor serpent.
Years of carefully honed inactivity paid off as I was able to both yell and splash at the same time. I'm not sure if it was the precision placement of jets of water or my high pitch little girl scream that drove off the dreaded viper or perhaps the combined arms effect of my attacks but my efforts were successful and the cad released the frog and retreated back to his hideout to assuredly plan other mischief (hopefully against the rabbits as those bast**** try to eat my brussels sprouts!).
With the immediate threat dispatched, I coolly went about trying to catch the frog in the pool, which is not as easy as it might seem. After many attempts I think I tired him out and he submitted. Outside of a few teeth marks he seemed OK and I did what any other man would do when holding a giant frog - bring him in the house to show the wife. Elementary.
I'm sure you will all be shocked to hear that this potential new addition to our family was not greeted with open arms and in fact, I was told to release the poor creature immediately. I'm paraphrasing my wife as any direct quotation of her utterances would not be fitting in an all ages blog.
Just another day on the Maryland Eastern Shore. That's how we roll....